Sanji the Samurai?
by Freida5
Summary: After a display of Sanji's knife skills, Zoro wonders whether or not the cook has been holding back. Who would win in a battle between Katana and knives? Zoro is dead set on finding out the answer.


Hi everyone, Freida5 back again. People liked my little story about Brooke so much I decided to keep writing, and I whipped this out. I hope you readers keep enjoying my work and I'm thankful for all you're wonderful reviews!

(btw, I don't own one piece. just thought you should know.)  
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Yet another lazy day upon the Going Merry. The wind was going in fitful puffs, nothing so steady that they could make any real headway to the next island. This had been the third such day, and the crew was getting antsy. Ussop, Zoro, Chopper and Nami were all chafing at being in such close quarters with each other, though Robin was as impassive as ever and Luffy never seemed to mind. They all lolled up on deck, fiddling with their various kits, weapons, or tools, trying to stay out of each other's hair and shooting longing gazes at the limp sails.

Only Sanji was absent, and when the sun was getting low there was a familiar cry from Luffy "Hey Sanji, what's for dinner?" he jumped from Merry's head and raced over to the kitchen door. Just as he reached for the door knob it swung open, giving Luffy a smack in the face. He jumped backwards with a yelp.

"Sorry Luffy" their resident chain smoking cook came out, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Ah forget about it, just tell me what's to eat!" he said, bouncing right back into cheerful expectation.

Sanji called out to the deck at large "Hey guys, come on in, I have a treat for you!"

"Hmm? What's going on?" Nami asked as she descended from the crow's nest.

Sanji smiled brilliantly at her "Well we're all getting so stir crazy around here, I thought I'd put on dinner and a show!"

He disappeared back into the kitchen as the others filed in, their boredom suddenly forgotten. They all spotted the grill that Sanji had placed on the long kitchen table. He stood behind it, arms crossed with a gleaming blade in each hand. Zoro immediately perked up "Hey, those are some nice knives."

"Oh these old things? I brought them from the Baratie. I had to have had them since I was a scullery boy."

Zoro seated himself, taking stock of the steel and the bright gleam of their edges. But the others were focused elsewhere "what do you mean a show?" Chopper asked excitedly.

"Alright, here goes." He set the knives aside and pulled out some oil and a giant bowl of rice. The griddle hissed and spat as he began to fry the rice and he grabbed an egg. He didn't crack it, but he picked up a spatula and balanced it there. With a flip, the egg was flying through the air, and he quickly set another on the spatula. A second toss and another egg, and soon Sanji was juggling three eggs in the air with only his spatula to keep them going.

The crew held its breath expectantly as Sanji gave them all a bigger flip and he snatched up his knife with the off hand. As they fell he slashed the knife in front of him three times. The eggs all split neatly in two, each half of shell falling to the sides as the yolks and whites landed squarely in the rice. The other crew members cheered and clapped as Sanji did a bow.

The only one that seemed a little distracted was Zoro. He scowled and kept an eye on the knife as Sanji put it down and continued to cook.

"Wherever did you learn to do that?" Robin asked as he began to dole out fried rice.

"Every once in a while Old Man Zeff would put on a show. It quieted down the more rowdy pirates. Plus, it's fun to do!" he scooped up the last bit of rice meant for her "Hold up your plate please, Robin Cwhan?" he asked. She picked it up, and with a flick of the wrist he sent the lump of rice whistling though the air to land safely over on her plate. Robin flinched a little, but not a grain of rice fell onto the table. Sanji's eye popped into a heart as Robin gave him a smile.

"Wow, that's some shooting!" Ussop said with a laugh. "If there was a job for a food marksman, you'd put me out of a job!"

Zoro glanced at Ussop before returning to his meal in silence.

"Sanji, I hope that wasn't the only part of dinner…" Luffy whined. He had already finished his giant serving of rice.

Sanji shot him a look of disgust "can't you slow down and enjoy a meal for once? Yeah there's more. I already know what you want-"

"MEAT!"

"I thought so." Sanji went over to the fridge and pulled out a giant platter of different raw meats. Luffy's eyes began to sparkle "No, they're not all for you." Sanji said, causing his captain to droop perceptibly.

He tched in annoyance, but began to grill the meat. Then he reached back into the fridge for some vegetables. With swift strokes he deftly sliced an onion up and stacked the little rings into a kind of pyramid. The others looked at him questioningly, but he held up a finger to hold their comments. He picked up a bottle and poured some clear liquid into the open center of the onions. He brought out one of his matches and lightly touched the top. A veritable fireball of flame shot out of the onions, causing everyone to jump and gasp. Chopper and Luffy, the ones closest to the grill, both fell off their seats.

"Onions are ready." Sanji said innocently and started to pass them out.

"That was amazing!" Chopper said, jumping back up to his seat with his eyes sparkling "Again, again!"

"I would never repeat a trick!" Sanji said airily "besides, the look on your face the first time was priceless."

By that time the meat was ready, and Zoro shifted in his seat as Sanji took up both his knives this time. "Alright you guys, I want to know if you can see this." He said "The one who can gets an extra serving"

"Oh, that'll be me!" Luffy said with a grin "alright, go ahead!"

Sanji pointed to a flank of steak. "I'm going to cut this one up first. I'll even give you a little countdown."

"Just do it, I want extra meat!"

"3, 2, 1." and suddenly the steak was gone. In its place was seven little chunks of meat, all lined up in a row.

Luffy blinked "what the… I didn't even see you move! How did you do that?!"

The others were impressed as well "O.K., I'll be looking this time!" Ussop said, straining his face in concentration.

Sanji just smiled and pointed again "that swordfish steak in 3, 2, 1." and before they could even blink the swordfish was in seven pieces, placed in a checkerboard pattern this time.

Luffy grinned in wonder, but then a thought struck him "t-that's cheating!" he said outraged "there's no way I can get extra meat if you go that fast!"

"Then just get a regular portion like the rest of us, greedy." Sanji said sternly. He grinned at the others though "One more time? I have a piece of chicken here with someone's name on it! 3, 2, 1." and again the thing was done in an instant, the pieces all stacked in a little tower.

"That's amazing!" Nami said, totally blown away "There's no way you could be so fast!"

"Of course there's a way! I'm the fastest in the world with my knives!" he said, basking in her praise. Then he grinned over at Zoro "Hey Marimo head, want to see another neat trick?"

Zoro remained silent, but Sanji didn't wait for an answer. He picked up a spatula and sent the last piece of pork flying into the air. He gripped his knives firmly and said "two pound cannon!" with a flash of steel the pork returned to the griddle, neatly cubed. He grinned at his crewmate's applause and turned to Zoro "Eh? How about it, pretty good huh?"

Zoro suddenly stood. He looked at Sanji blankly for a moment before pushing himself away from the table and exiting the room. "Zoro?" Ussop asked. "Huh, wonder if he's not feeling good."

"Oh, should I go do a check up?" Chopper asked worriedly.

"Ah, leave him alone. If he's sick he'll tell us." Luffy said, chowing down on his meat.

Sanji walked up to Zoro's place and picked up his plate. He had barely touched his serving of rice. "Hmm, I wonder if I pushed it using his technique… he'll get over it." With a shrug he gave Zoro's portion to the bottomless pit that was Luffy.

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The weather the next day was exactly the same as the others, although the crew was in better spirits. They went about their daily tasks, checking the heading, lowering sails, and doing minor repairs to the Going Merry with a bounce in their step. The only one that wasn't so cheerful was Zoro.

He sat in the crow's nest, his arm wrapped protectively around his swords, trying to take a nap. But like last night, sleep was impossible. Had he ever known that about the ero cook? That he could cut food with the precision of a samurai, or that he could break the sound barrier with his slicing? No, he had never really watched Sanji cook before. And the knives were in a league of their own; the steel had to be of masterwork quality. Even after years of use they were still as sharp as the day they were new.

He shifted position restlessly and shut his eyes. But the real reason he couldn't sleep came back with crystal clarity. If Sanji ever went into battle with those knives… that combined with his already powerful kicks… would he be stronger than Zoro?

He punched the wood directly in front of him, grinding his knuckles into the wood to try and forget the thought. "No. No he's not." He said to himself firmly. But the words were hollow. He already knew he could hold his own against his insanely powerful captain, at least for a while. But he had sworn his life to Luffy, he was at peace that he could be more powerful than himself. But when blades came into the equation it became personal. He couldn't bear the thought of being weaker than that smutty chef, particularly when it came to swordplay.

He simply couldn't sleep. With a grunt he hoisted himself up and started climbing to the deck below. With a few more hours of weight lifting maybe he would be exhausted enough to finally pass out.

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Zoro climbed back on deck, the night air chilling the sweat on his body. He wiped his face with a towel and put his shirt back on. Even using his heaviest weights, he couldn't get the weight of Sanji's strength off of his mind. Maybe a quick dip in the ocean would cool him off.

And there he was. Zoro's eye twitched as he saw Sanji leaning on the rail enjoying a midnight smoke. He turned at the noise Zoro made, gave him a little wave, and returned to looking at the stars.

He looked at the cabin door. The rest of the crew was down for the night, and all of them were heavy sleepers. Zoro crossed his arms and said "you're pretty handy with those blades."

"Hmm." said Sanji, not paying attention.

"I want you to fight me with them."

That got his attention "What? No, that's ridiculous." He said, shooting a look of annoyance back at him. "I'd never dirty my blades with human blood."

Zoro glared at him "are you calling my swords dirty?"

Sanji grimaced and stamped out his cigarette "Look, my blades are for cooking, not killing. True, I use a nice cleaver to send fish to the other world, but I don't use it in battle."

He scowled, not satisfied by that "You can use my techniques, you can fight with them."

"Yeah, did you notice I said 'two pound cannon'? That was just a party trick Zoro."

"So now my techniques are party tricks?" he said, hand on sword hilt "you're really starting to piss me off, ero cook."

"I can kick you in the face all you want, crappy swordsman." Said Sanji, turning around and lifting one leg "but I won't use my knives unless it's on food, understand?"

They stood there, neither one of them backing down. Then suddenly Zoro blinked and turned away. "This isn't over. I'll come back tomorrow." With that he entered the men's sleeping quarters, leaving Sanji alone.

He gave a disgusted sigh "I wonder what's eating him." he muttered, lighting up again.

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The next evening, Sanji was nervous to go up for his late night smoke. Zoro had been in a strange mood all day. But soon his nicotine craving won over his worry "just what is that idiot up to…" he shiged as he finally went up on deck.

Zoro was there on deck, but his swords weren't. Instead he had a bag by his feet. "Go get your knives Sanji." He said "we're settling this once and for all."

"I already told you, you stupid-" he stopped as Zoro opened the bag to show what was inside.

He picked up three baguettes. Zoro placed one in his mouth and held the other two in his hands "Alright, now you can fight me." He said, voice slightly muffled by the bread.

Sanji gaped at him open mouthed. "Are… are you really serious?" he said incredulously "Zoro, if I wasn't so confused right now I'd kick your ass for wasting food. What the hell's gotten into you?"

"Go get your knives. I want to see how good you really are with them."

Sanji was about to tear into him, but he refrained. He lit up a smoke and thought about it. So Marimo head wanted a fight huh? He knew how stubborn Zoro was. He'd never hear the end of it until he finally brought out his knives. "Alright, I'll do it. But once we're done I never want to hear about this again." He said, turning around and going to his kitchen.

A few minutes later they faced each other on the silent, moonlit deck. Sanji twirled his knives nervously in his fingers. What if he cut Zoro with them? He could never bear to use them again if he cut a person with his favorite knives. He cracked his neck and settled into a fighting position, one knife forward and one behind him in a reverse grip. Well then, he just wouldn't hit Zoro with them, simple as that. Besides, three cuts and those baguettes would be history.

Zoro sprang forward, swinging his right swor- baguette in an overhand arch. Sanji swung up a knife to block it and felt a dull thud of weight shoot up his wrist. Alarmed, he hopped backwards, swinging his offhand knife to keep Zoro back. "What the heck is wrong with those things?" He said, flexing his nearly numb wrist.

Zoro took the bread out of his mouth, chewed the chunk he had bitten off, and showed Sanji the inside of it. It was filled with metal "I put some iron bars that I found in the kitchen into them. They're cooking utensils, right? You can fight against them."

"You… cut up a giant metal bar you found in my kitchen?"

"Yeah."

Sanji's grip on his knives tightened "You jerk, that was my nice turning spit! Now how am I going to make a roasted pig when I get back to land?"

"You'll get over it."

"Oh I will _not_ just get over it!" he crouched again, furious at how stupid Zoro was acting "no one messes with my kitchen, and no one uses my food to fight. Zoro, you are so going down!"

Zoro grinned at him "now that's what I wanted to hear" before placing the metal lined baguette back in his mouth.

They both came simultaneously, with a flash of sparks shooting up from where iron bar met blade. Sanji swung the other knife to block the second baguette, but could do nothing to prevent the third from slamming him in the forhead. He gritted his teeth against the pain and did a back flip, trying to gain distance. But Zoro was already next to him, aiming for where the cook's legs would land. He twisted in midair, shifting ever so slightly to land on Zoro's hand.

Zoro cursed and swung with his other hand, but Sanji was already gone. He reappeared and struck out with his leg but Zoro blocked with his baguettes. They sprang apart and stared at one another from across the deck. Slowly they began to circle one another, each waiting for the other one to strike.

_I'm fast, but not fast enough_ Sanji thought, keeping his eyes glued to Zoro _He can block most of my attacks, and I can't keep kicking metal like that. Plus my poor bar… maybe I can get it put back together if I find a smith on the next island…_ but his musings were cut off as Zoro rushed at him. Sanji was forced to do a flurry of parries as Zoro pushed him back to the edge of the ship.

Sanji caught the baguettes with his knives again "why aren't you fighting back with your blades? Attack me!" Zoro said.

"No!" Sanji kicked him and sent him flying back "I'm a chef, not some kind of knife fighter."

"Then what's the point of this battle?!" Zoro said furiously, attacking him again.

"How should I know, you're the one that's crazy!" Sanji said exasperated, leaping up to the railing and sending Zoro flying with a boot to the head. He was sick of this. How could he stop that crappy swordsman without cutting him?

"Oh my poor bar… it will never survive this." He said sadly. Just as Zoro was getting up he ran forward, and in a blink of an eye he sliced the baguette in Zoro's mouth neatly in two.

He skipped back, ready for another attack from Zoro, but his opponent wasn't moving. Zoro stood slowly, dropping his other baguettes to examine the one from his mouth. The bar inside was cut in half. "You… you cut iron with your blade." Zoro said incredulously.

Sanji looked down at his knife and cursed "yeah, and look what it did to my beautiful knife! It's got a knick in it..." he said, trying to rub it away with his sleeve. "Stupid samurai, this will ruin my knives for sure!"

Zoro held the iron bar with a shaking hand "how did you know how to cut iron?" He hissed at Sanji "only master swordsmen can do that."

"GOD DAMNIT ZORO, I'M NOT A SWORDSMAN!"

Sanji's shout echoed on deck. They both hastily turned to the sleeping quarter's doors, but nothing stirred. "Zoro, do you remember what Ussop said?"

"Something about a food marksman-"

"I can try to kill a seagull by flicking beans at it if I wanted to. But I don't want to kill a seagull or waste beans. You don't see Ussop out here trying to shoot me, do you?"

Zoro held out the iron bar again "But you cut this."

"I can cut anything with these knives. It comes from years and years of intense training to be a chef. Just like you, but different training." Sanji said turning away "Listen, I'm not trying to muscle in on your 'brainless meathead with a sword' job. You already fill the post so well. I am the cook of this ship, and hopefully I'll never have to use my knives in a pathetic battle like this ever again." With that he returned to his kitchen. Zoro could hear him with a whet stone beginning to repair his blunted blades.

Zoro was left alone out on deck. He bent over and picked up a half of the sliced bread and slid the bar out of it. He went to the side of the ship, chewing his shredded baguette thoughtfully.

He was pretty sure he just made an ass out of himself right there. He had known Sanji kept strict moral codes about what he did and didn't do. But he never really thought of using knives only as tools and not as weapons. He had always wielded katanas, used nothing but for bloodshed. He guessed the idea of blades and fighting were always going to be linked to him.

He had nothing to worry about. If Sanji said he wasn't going to use knives on the battlefield he wasn't. Even if it mystified Zoro, he didn't have to worry about being the best swordsman on the crew. Once again he would be the only swordsman.

"No sparring partner." He said, finishing the bread and dusting the crumbs off his hands "but no competition either. I can live with that."

He stooped to scoop up the rest of the bread and went back to the kitchen to put it away. Sanji was working the whetstone, his head bowed. Zoro passed him silently, but when he got to the door to leave he paused. Sanji stopped rubbing the stone over his blade.

"…My bad." Zoro said.

Sanji smirked "no hard feelings. It's what you expect from a Marimo head."

"But if you call my swords dirty again I will cut you down."

A tic mark appeared on Sanji's forehead "If you ever destroy my kitchen utensils again I'll rearrange your face!"

"You want to make something out of this, curly cook?"

"Bring it on crappy swordsman!"

"WILL YOU BE QUIET?!" they both jumped as Nami slammed the door to the kitchen open. "You are directly over my room and you WOKE ME UP!" she roared "so shut up and go to bed or so help me I'll slap both of you into last week!"

She stormed back to her room, nightgown billowing behind her as she slammed the door to her room. The two men looked at each other "Let's just say we're both a little weaker than an angry Nami and call it a night." Said Sanji.

"I'm good with that." Zoro said emphatically.

They both crept back into the boy's room and Zoro settled himself with a sigh in his hammock. For the first time in two days, he finally slept.


End file.
